For figs sake

Photo by Serjan Midili on Unsplash

Ever the first to have my finger on the pulse, I watched hit film Past Lives on Friday (Greta Lee, marry me?) Then

Nicole Ocran

opened last week with this post about her figs, and it got me thinking about all the other Ellies there could have been.

What are these ‘figs’? In the words of Sylvia Plath (The Bell Jar):

I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked.

One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out.

I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.

(I much prefer framing these as ‘figs’ rather than their serious philosophical equivalent, ‘possible worlds’; these were invoked very quickly in the first year of my philosophy degree as an acceptable answer to pretty much everything, and whilst I agree with the premise — we don’t know what the hell is out there — it sure as hell made the 8 more terms I had to go seem pretty pointless!)

Nicole’s post and Plath’s words got me thinking about my figs in terms of careers - some of which I’ve made (minor) moves towards, some of which I’ve just thought “that’d be nice”, and moved on with my actual fig life, and some of which might still come to pass, one day, maybe.

1. PA to a hotshot big city exec

This Ellie steps out of a shop with a big gift-wrapped box and flags down a black cab (this dream was pre-Uber, as you can tell). She hotfoots it back to the office without breaking a sweat, where her boss, complete with bluetooth headset, mouths “YOU’RE A LIFE SAVER” with prayer hands. He wanted to get his wife a nice gift, just because, and she isn’t reading between the lines and assuming he’s feeling guilty for something, because he’s one of the nice ones!!!

2. A bridal assistant in New York

This Ellie positively skips up the stairs to the top floor every day, huge takeaway coffee cup in hand, finishing it just before she opens the door to the bridal studio she works in on the Upper East Side. (This Ellie drinks coffee because, you know, New York.)

Sure, she’s surrounded by gorgeous, beautiful designs every day, but mostly she’s surrounded by gorgeous, beautiful people all so full of joy and excitement at their day. She’s not a regular stylist, she’s a cool stylist — one who never uses the word “flattering”, rejects any wedding diet talk, and isn’t afraid to stand up to a mother(-in-law) who’s sticking her oar in. (This Ellie looks so stylish in jeans and some kind of shirt — because, again, New York — that she’s actually changed the company policy on jeans as uniform. She’s a trailblazer, but she doesn’t like to brag).

3. A marine biologist

This Ellie isn’t disgusted when a cepahlopod does that weird thing with its body and squeezes through the tiny hole in the side of the boat to blob back into the ocean — she’s enthralled, ecstatic, in love with the wonder of mother nature. She does that cool thing where she tips herself backwards off of a boat like it’s a totally normal thing to do, and goes to sleep every night knowing she’s helping make the world a better place (and doesn’t have nightmares about octopi and the deep dark ocean, because, why would she?)

4. A published author

Oh this Ellie? She doesn’t need a “Lo-fi coffeeshop atmosphere” Youtube playlist to work with; she has the real coffeeshop to work from. She never gets writer’s block, and is always in communion with her craft, the words just flowing from her brain to the page — so in communion, in fact, that she’s always able to go to a last-minute midday event, because she’s always ahead of her writing schedule. She’s also in communion with the coffee shop owners, who she genuinely now calls friends and who ask her to try out new pastry recipes and who let her have her birthday party in the back despite the fact they don’t technically have a liquor license. She and her tousled bob wear fancy suits when they go to beautiful events, but she also spends a lot of her time researching and talking to contacts.

(On the subject of coffee shops, here’s a beautiful piece by

Eleanor Cording-Booth

:)

Ode to my local coffee shop (it might change my life this year)

5. Radio host/celebrity interviewer

There’s no two ways about this Ellie: we’re in national tresj territory. She has an easy rapport which makes her a beloved friend of both the public and celebrities alike, thanks to her ability to read a room effortlessly and lovingly take the piss out of herself and her guests. (This is why celebs often recognise her on the circuit, and tell her they were looking forward to her interview. She has a few of their phone numbers and they sometimes meet for drinks or dinner when they’re in town, but she doesn’t brag about it). No-one comments on her vocal fry or speculates that her laugh must be fake, and he can wear those big headphones plus big earrings without the latter digging in to the side of her neck and making her skin bleed (which I could not do in my AS level German listening!)

Though I intended for this to just be a piece of enjoyable reading (I know, I know, I’m a giver), this was actually a really interesting exercise. There’s parallels in all of them, when I see them written out. Plus, as I mentioned in the marine biologist piece, I’ve always wanted to be a writer, but that longevity means I sometimes forget that I’ve had other dreams alongside it too. In fact, these 5 are just the tip of the iceberg; there was, of course, the wedding planning career I began, the garment construction degree I nearly applied to, the giftbuying pathways I investigated, and more. Maybe I’ll make a part 2?

In the meantime, let me know some of your figs, whether career-related or not. I’d love to hear them!